Do you know how to make a grown man cry? Tell him his business has been destroyed by fire, flood or an act of God.

Yes, a tragedy. Bad stuff. But, most likely, the loss was insured — a bit of help. It’s even more important if Joe Owner is there on the scene to assess the damage, make plans and start rebuilding. Chances are he will make the business bigger and better than before.

End of Scene 1.

Here is Scene 2. Even the most successful, egotistical and immortal business owner knows that some day he must go to the “big business in the sky.” That will not make Joe Owner cry. He is too realistic for that. But tell him that after he is gone, his present plans, or better yet — lack of a plan — mean the Internal Revenue Service will dismantle his business.

Imagine our departed Joe in heaven; sitting on a cloud; talking to a representative of the revenue service. Joe speaks first.

“Why?” he asks.

“To pay taxes,” answers the tax representative.

“How?” he asks.

“By selling off the assets necessary to pay the tax.”

“When?” he asks.

“Within two years.”

“Why?” Joe demands.

“To pay your federal estate tax liability.”

“How much?” he queries.

“That depends on the value of your business.”

“Good,” says Joe. “I can show you just how little the business is worth without me.”

“Sorry,” responds the IRS representative. “It’s too late for that now.”

The curtain goes down.

Welcome back to earth. Is the above scenario realistic? Yes.

Crazy as it sounds.

If you own a closely held business and don’t pin down its value for tax purposes while you are alive, you are setting yourself up to be mugged by the IRS.

Every business — like it or not — must some day be valued for tax purposes. It is best for it to be done voluntarily, by you (the owner) during life. If not, the valuation will be done in an involuntary situation, after death, by the revenue service.

The only “out” is to sell the business in a real transaction during your life. For most business owners, selling doesn’t make sense for many reasons.

The two most common reasons are: First, the typical business owner wants to transfer the business to his or her kids; or second, wants to keep on working until he or she goes to business heaven.

The message should be clear: Want to save your business and your family untold aggravation, not to mention savings of 55 percent, the highest estate tax bracket in 2011? Then do three things: Find out the value of your business for tax purposes by getting an appraisal. Put a transfer plan, usually to your kids, in place during your life.

And then dovetail the first two steps with your estate plan.

Done right, you can transfer your business to your kids tax-free during your life, beat the estate tax collector legally, and control your business for as long as you live.